Fight Club: Kingdom Hearts
by LingeringSentiment420
Summary: Mischief.Mayhem.Gummie. Fight Club, Kingdom Hearts style!


I do not own Kingdom Hearts or Fight Club

Characters.

Sora- The Narrator

Terra- Terra(Tyler)Durden

Kairi- Kairi(Marla)Singer

And Pete as Robert "Bob" Paulson

Mischief. Mayhem. Gummie.

Fight Club: Kingdom Hearts

People are always asking me if I know Terra Durden. And there he was in front of me, holding a 9mm with the barrel in my mouth. We were in a dark room that appeared to be mostly empty with a view of the Radiant Garden skyline. Judging by that, we were about 70 or 75 stories up. But why? I had not time to contemplate as the man before me began to speak…

"Three minutes. This is it-ground zero. Would you like to say a few words to mark the occasion?" said Terra

"…i…an……if….nnyin.." I managed to mumble out. With a gun barrel between your teeth, you only speak in vowels. Terra then took the gun out of my mouth.

"I cant think of anything" I said

For a second, I totally forgot about Terra's whole controlled demolition thing and I wonder how clean that gun is.

"90 seconds, think of all the things we've accomplished" Terra said pressing against the window.

You see, we have front row seats to this theater of mass destruction. All about to destroy the main corporations of Radiant Garden. I know this because Terra knows this.

For some reason, I knew that all of this had to do with a woman named Kairi Singer.

-flashback-

Bob. Bob had bitch tits.

"It's okay Cornelius, you can cry" said the massively overweight man

This was a support group for men with testicular cancer.

The big moosie sobbing on me was Bob. Bob just had his testicles removed a few months prior.

I gave stupid names every time I went to a support group.

So there I was. Smashed between his tits the way you would think of gods as big.

No

Wait…

..Let me start earlier

For two months I couldn't sleep.

With insomnia nothing is real. Everything's far away….

Everything's a copy

Of a copy

Of a copy…

Work was hell. My boss always gave me work that would send me all around the country. I work for a car company that I do recalls for. My boss slowly approached me. He was wearing his corn flower blue tie. It must have been Tuesday. I dressed in a casual outfit. White suit, black tie and khaki pants. You know, the typical working class uniform.

Out of work, shopping was my obsession. If I saw a fancy nic-nac like a coffee table in the shape of a ying-yang, I had to have it.

I flocked through the latest Ikea catalogs like Playboy magazines.

As a matter of fact, it started with pornography, now it was home furniture craze.

But nothing could get me to sleep.

I decided to visit my doctor

"No, you cant die from insomnia" said my doctor

"What about narcolepsy?" I responded

"I nod off. I wake up in places without knowing how I got there"

There was a brief silence.

"Could you please just get me something?" I asked

"No" he said plain and rather coldly

"You need healthy, natural sleep"

"please, I'm in pain" I said

"You wanna see pain? Go to first Methodist and see the guys with testicular cancer. That's pain" said my doctor

So that's how I got to the support groups.

Across the room, I could already see the big lug.

His eyes already shrink wrapped in tears.

The support coordinator gave us the cue for hugging buddies.

Bob was already on his way. The way he tumbled side to side….

….Those awkward little steps…….

There I was again. Pressed against his tits.

"It's okay Cornelius, you can cry"

And then……

I let go. The tears running down my cheeks like Niagra Falls.

Lost in oblivion.

But that night…..

I felt….

….Drowsy

I started to sleep again. Babies don't even sleep that good.

So then, I became addicted.

Bowl cancer, tuberculosis, brain parasites, you name it.

Anything that contained the word "support".

But one day in testicular cancer support……..

We were sharing stories as usual.

And…

She

Ruined

Everything!

"This is cancer right?" said a woman in all black with a cigarette entering the room.

Kairi Singer. The woman who ruined everything!

xxxxThanks for reading! Did you guys like? More chapters soon!xxxx


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